There are few things which my parents do not support me in.

But at this moment, I stand within the linchpin of the American Dream.
The short moment when I can transcend my ancestors, both in degree and in scope. They continually commend my efforts, but seemingly believe within that I cannot succeed.

I told them flatly, that I loathe inactivity. I loathe the idea of succumbing to gradualism. I detest those who work hard for something, only to realize how hard it really is, and then quit. I can think of nothing more repulsive or disgusting.

This continued wave of pessimism, cynical expectations, and utter disbelief will be surmounted. For if no other reason than the ideals of demonstrable compotenence.

I will move foward, and I will move ahead.

Long, this week has been.

The below graphs can attest to my training volume. It has increased largely in running, which is a blessing.




Albeit, miles have begun to catch up with me, as I’m quite sore, even after taking Friday as my off day, and tomorrow as Memorial Day will likely be an off day.
I blew a tire on a ride yesterday morning, which I discovered this afternoon before a ride. So I put in a new tube, but the bike shop was closed, so I was unable to attain a new tire.

So after a 3 mile run on pavement, (my first paved run since Boston) I hit the trails for another 5 miles, for a daily total of 8 miles. Kind of low, particularly on a historical long-run day (10+ miles). So my first two-a-day run since XC last fall. Too much, too soon. I need to rest.

Now that most of the grease and dirt and mud has been shed, I can unequivocally say, that getting dirty is exponentially more fun than getting clean.

Be Well.

Spontaneity is the governor of joy.

Today was a highly productive day. Yet the culmination of my endeavors was not pre-ordained, scheduled, et cetra.
Moreover, it was planned to be avoided. Until I was offered something, regardless of location, time and place, I could not refuse.

I have a little place here, near my home. I feel it represents a little slice of heaven. I am fully intent on having my wedding at this location. It is the oldest working farm in the United States, and is protected by a reservation board under the Massachusetts Adubon Society.. It is my sanctuary. I come here when everything overwhelms me. When nothing remains constant. When even the most ardent and formidable rocks in my life, begin to crack under the weight of time and progress.



It is a paradise for the distance runner. It is miles upon miles of shaded, and brightly lit trails. Large tree stumps and free standing stone walls, statues reminscent of an ancient Aztec Civilization, and just nature to entertain my thoughts. I was running with a good friend of mine, who has known this location long before I ever began to run.




For his HS XC team trained in these woods. Nine years of running in a single place, and yet still finding joy amidst its familarity, is a rare event. It represents a challenge that is repeatedly faced. It represents a location which witnessed a boy grow into a man. It represents the idea of running after cycling nearly two hours on a 94 degree day, without hydration or nutrition, for the sake of testing your physical limits. It is a place the cannot lie, as the earth is the most honest mediator one can ever find. But it is also confidence.

Coming to a place like Appleton represents a challenge that makes me smile, as I stare out over the haze and the sun and the hay. I know it will be hard. I do most of my time trial runs in this place. But it will also be a memory. I run here every so many weeks, so the majority of my tenure here is codified in permeneant memory.


Even today as I come back, I recall the earlier runs here. The oxygen debt. The sliding over the ice, in the dead of an ice storrm, after a 23 miler the day before. The idea of an imminent collapse, running at maximal perceived exertion, up a dusty, dirt hill in the hottest part of August, while horses and cows turn away, as if to shield themselves from my idiocy, or the horror of what may be

I've missed this place.

Finally, the tables are starting to turn.

Today was the 4th time in five days that I ran. I felt almost 100% confident and free on my treadmill run.

Often times, when I can really relax in running, I sing songs in my head, and almost dance when I’m running. Earlier this week, I was so fixated on maintaining prorper form, to mitigate touquing and twisting, I could not truly relax. Today I was at peace.

Two days ago I ran the same duration, with my body telling me this was far enough. Today, I felt as if I could have run for 2 hours. Today, my mind won the battle, not my body.

I exercised ambition, yet practiced restraint. I sough achievement, and found prudence en route. My body is all coming together.

I am coming back.

For my friends

I’ve recently begun to start running again. I began Saturday at a Hotel I was staying at for commencement exercises. Two miles, in very old shoes (the Disney ones) at a comfortable pace. About 98% of the pain is gone.

I then ran Sunday in the afternoon on a different treadmill, same distance a bit faster. I realized the only pain I felt, was when my form detiroirated, which largely can be corrected through my shoes. Then I ran yesterday (Monday), with no pain, but when I stepped off, for the next 15 minutes, I could tell my leg was a bit sore. Granted, I ran for 30 minutes, the longest I have in three weeks. But this morning it was 100% when I woke up and went for a ride.

The bizarre thing, is that the more I run on it, the less pain I feel throughout the day. I’ve continued to do my physical therapy, which I actually believe is help expedite the healing process at this point.





With regards to cycling and elliptical work, I’ve been doing so much work on and off the saddle, I feel I’m finally beginning to lose some of the winter stuff I packed on, and getting back to my lean self. Never really been too concerned with this until I was injured from running for a while.

Yesterday and today I rode the same 28 mile loop. Its a great, open course, but yesterday it beat the crap out of me. No joke. Felt like I was riding into a head wind with sand tied to my knees.
So I tried to recover and nap and sleep hard yesterday. This morning, it was a whole new me. Some of my late endurance energy (after 60 minutes) seemed a bit slow, but it was a light year ahead of yesterday's cog railroad uphill.

Running on a treadmill, I have found, can be a enlightening experience, as running inherently subscribes to such an experience. When I run, I realize my legs are separate from my mind. I recognize the motions so well, that I can literally allow my legs to run, and take my upper body into a different area of thought and cognition.

I’ve also noticed, the more of the surrounding noise, distraction, and chaos than can be a gym, the more focused and qualified your running becomes. That is to say, to neutralize all stimuli is a perennial focus multiplier.

Today I go on the apartment hunt in Boston. Talk to you soon.
-A.Low

Open water swim.
Longest in several months.
1.6 miles with wet suit in a cloudy, raw and cold day.
Lots of fun. Check out the pictures!

First, let me enumerate the figures which make me proud at the end of a day.

Today, May 14, 2007

Ride: 30 miles total. 15 to the shore, 15 back inland. Intensive rolling hills, feeling quite capable, and heart rate monitor proving problematic for first 18 or so miles, then finally calibrated, as did cyclometer. Woo hoo.

Then in the PM, after my Orthopedist appointment, 47 minutes in Zone 3 on the elliptical. Felt great, still dehydrated, and dinner was very late, but felt rewarded.

The orthopedist was pleased with my recovery, as well as the MRI, which displayed no skeletal nor muscular damage, just some minor inflammation. He suggested I run 1-2 miles on a track Friday, as this is the beginning of my third week with no running. Now onto more reflective issues.

I’m beginning to resolve my issues. The old A-Low is beginning to return, yet he is also wholly aware of what needs to be amended, principally.

I am a triathlete. And the demands therein are taxing. And moreover, now that I am lined up to work a demanding job in government, going to law school nights, and trying to stay healthy, leads me to believe I will have thrust upon me a greater burden of responsibility than I have ever known. But tonight something made me realize I can rise.

I had a 2 hour job interview this morning. Then I rode for about 90 minutes. Drove a whole state away, to have an orthopedist appointment, gathered supplies for a 3 day camping trip with close friends starting tomorrow, received “Thank You’s” from friends and family who want to attend my commencement, then drove home to celebrate Mother’s Day belatedly with my Mom, as we were all so tired yesterday. After that, went to the gym, 47 minutes on the elliptical, plus core.

I then drove home in the dusk, near dark, and saw more cyclists still out there getting in their daily ride. Some runners battled the automotive beasts on the dimly lit streets. No dinner yet. No third shower yet. Just my thoughts and my Rover.

I know we as a species, triathletes, are arguably the most determined, time managed, and sharply focused group of humans this planet has to offer. There is pride in us. And there is even arrogance. But I maintain it to be truth.

Its coming back....

The feeling and essence of being a triathlete. It took a damn long time to return, but I can feel it coming back. Its different than marathon conditioning.
Its more of that burning ambition that freaked people out at pre-season
It’s a wholly different animal.

Driving home, the sun going down, and I still hadn't finished a shower
Albeit, I feel more pure, and clean, and honest when I run.
But when I finally sit back, relax, and realize all I accomplish in one day, I feel hardened by it. Not physically toned, but mentally sharpened, and more focused.
I'm a bit scared by the real world right now
Because I'm going to have to make HUGE sacrifices
My job will have me in Boston, and three surrounding suburbs, the closest a 20 minute drive away. Then likely 10 more minutes north of the city for Law School, then back to my apartment, God knows where.

…and somewhere, through some kind of miracle, I'll be training.

Whew.

I haven't ridden that long in several months.

Today was a long ride after a tidal wave of Financial Aid forms and budget calculations for law school.
Finally got outside to enjoy the weather, which was awesome.
Albeit, I forgot my Endurance Formula, so the GU sat pretty heavy.
Totalled 42 miles in 2h21. Felt strong, never really had a problem.
Self massaged the area which my MRI was on after, which alleviated much anticipated future discomfort.

Then sat down with the family and watched "Children of Men". Sure is nice to be home for a bit of time.

P.S. Sorry from going to narrative to burts of log-style text.

Take it easy all.

Thus Far

Every so many years, we reach a point wherein decisions must be made.
They represent a nexus of accomplishment and ambition. They reflect the totality of our efforts, and the trust we must place in ourselves.

It has been said that the only way to nullify the definition of a cliche activity is with the weapon of truth. Albeit, we now face a critical moment in not just our future, but our lives. For we have all accomplished a grand endeavor, and must now decide how to use this experience.

By the end of this month, I will have formally graduated from my undergraduate work, decided on a law school, have conducted several interviews, likely have been offered a position of employment, and hopefully begun running once again. But it the total of all these acts, I will know a little more about what I am capable of.

I live in a small suburb in northern Massachusetts, but within this cubby of society, is a landscape, saturated with endurance athletes. As a triathlete, I know the greatest threat to one's existence is the propensity to over train. I have long been infamous for having this affliction, which has manifest itself in four chronic injuries in a single academic year.
In short, the hardest thing about resuming training, is repeatedly telling myself, that I am not in the shape, phyiscal or mental, that I was one year ago. Therefore, I must build...gradually.

There is a fine line between endurance and performance. One is composed of will, committment, and sheer mental sharpness. The other, is strictly mental sharpness. Three Time Ironman Champion Peter Reid, once held that "It's so physically demanding, that ironically, it usually comes down to who's the smartest" The core of this little recess of ours has never been said more accuretly.

Performance, racing, and competition is not for the proletariat of endurance sport. For it requires, knowledge, experience and truth. A good friend, a fellow marathoner, and one who has far less experience than I in discressionary training, asked me why I would go out and run 15 miles on a Wednesday afternoon. Because. he claimed "Any runner with enough mental tenacity can do this, but the prudential among us does it for a reason, just as we rest and sleep and eat well"

I have recently forefitted training when I first wake up, to allow my mind to actually consider what I'm getting my body into - A luxury I have denied myself for sometime. So then I wait. I consider, and I realize how polarized our world is. It's either going at it witth mind and body, or just not. Its black and white. There is no gray area.










But in this process, I've found things outside of black and white. Not gray, but more colors. Things which illustrate the essence of youth. Ideas which make me reach beyond the comforts of the familiar. And memories which will never be lost.

So finals are complete.
I've been doing some moderate elliptical work, some cycling, and going by feel. In short, I've been conservative, as tomorrow is my MRI.

Today, was my longest elliptical workout in several weeks: 70 minutes. Didn't feel entirely comfortable going above that, as my leg is still a bit twitchy. But this isn't why I am posting.

I'm posting because of a song I listened to several weeks back, when I was volunteering at an urban, preparatory junior/senior high school in Newark of my Spring Break. I hadn't heard it since the last time I was in Newark, but I told myself I would refrain from listening, until my last day at school.

It's a Christian Rock artist, named Kelly Pease. If you haven't heard her music, you ought to. Its inspiring, even if you're not a religious or even spiritual person. It's purely fantastic music. I realized that I was listening as I drove by my sanctuary, or where I do my long runs in the fall, winter, and sometimes the Spring. See the photo here.

The song reminded me of the patience I have in God, the strength he gives me, and how he always comes through. There's a verse in the song that proclaims: "Holy God, my own God, King of my destiny" Alot of this I understand, but much of it I don't. I know that my running will return once I'm healed, but I don't know when. I know what running provides me, but I don't know why it sustains me, renews me, and prepares me for future endeavors. Either way, I know that in the near future, I'll see you out on the roads.

www.kellypease.com

This afternoon was my scheduled orthopedist appointment. Since Sunday’s Mud-Muck-Moose run, I have largely stayed low. This is my last week of undergraduate work, and at this time next week I will have moved out. So I’m doing some core work here and there, and embracing my inner-slacker, something which one person reminded me I was incapable of doing. Witness my dilemma.
The Orthopedist asked me if I wanted a bone-scan or an MRI, to which I responded an MRI, as I have already had X-rays before Boston, and the bone structure was fine. He said to allow this to really quiet down, he advised I use the elliptical, bike, and swim for the next 3-4 weeks. I know this week I am taking entirely off. Just to heal myself spiritually and mentally.
My MRI is scheduled for next Tuesday, May 8. I had a race I was really wanting to do on June 3, but he said it would be a tight bargain. And frankly, I’m sick of playing race and then get hurt, race and then get hurt. Its just not worth it. So I’m anxious to see what kind of soft-tissue damage is done to my tibialis anterior, and what my Ortho suggests after he sees the results.
Okay, back to finals studying. Two exams Thursday, One Friday, and One Monday.